When it comes to #TrailingSpouseGoals, RBG is our GOAT.
U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s death on Friday has renewed interest in her incredible life story: persevering through partner-prompted relocations, health crises, and decades of systemic discrimination, culminating in a triumphant third act as the towing spouse — with her husband Martin as her biggest champion.
If you haven’t already seen them, I highly recommend “On the Basis of Sex” (biopic streaming on Sling and Amazon Prime) and “RBG” (Oscar-nominated documentary currently available on Hulu, Amazon Video, and Netflix).
I watched the latter last night and was inspired anew by RBG’s enduring, decades-long battle to systematically dismantle America’s gender-based discriminatory policies. The fruits of her labors helped men as well as women; thanks to one landmark case she argued before the Supreme Court (Weinberger v. Wisenfeld), widowers caring for their children became eligible for the Social Security survivors’ benefits previously only offered to widows.
At the same time, I was moved by the love story between her and Marty, who passed away in 2009. At several points throughout “RBG,” their steadfast support for each other — even at the expense of their individual ambitions — reminded me that trailing spouse life often requires taking a long view, too.
Taking turns
As a loyal Cornell University alumna, I already knew that the Ginsburgs had met as teenagers at my alma mater in the 1950s. While watching “On the Basis of Sex,” I bit my nails through Armie Hammer’s portrayal of Marty’s cancer diagnosis during their Harvard Law years, and how Ruth (played by Felicity Jones) heroically took on both their course loads while also caring for their toddler — only to be denied her Harvard degree, in an egregious reversal of the courtesy offered to male students, when she transferred to Columbia University for her final term (to keep their family together). And after all that? Every major New York law firm declined to hire her, despite her impeccable credentials, due to her gender.
True to our Trailing-Spouse.com philosophy, RBG got through these challenges with grit and creativity. Ironically, these setbacks ultimately informed and enhanced her formidable legal strategies in the fight for equal rights — ensuring that future generations of women would face fewer obstacles in schools and workplaces.
I hadn’t realized how ardently her husband had championed her trailblazing career, however, particularly once the feminist movement and related legal work took off in the 1970s. When President Jimmy Carter appointed Ruth the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit in 1980, a position conceivably within weekend commuting distance of their Manhattan apartment? Marty moved, too.
“He had been extraordinarily successful as a practicing lawyer in New York,” said New York University Prof. Arthur Miller. “There were people who would say he was the best tax lawyer in the city of New York, and believe me, that is saying something.”
NPR journalist Nina Totenberg added, “He would say, ‘I moved to Washington because my wife got a good job.'”
A lifetime of love and respect
In 1993, RBG was one of dozens of potential nominees to be President Bill Clinton’s pick for the U.S. Supreme Court, but she was considered an underdog, given her soft-spoken style and that she was over the age of 60. The documentary reveals Marty’s instrumental role in rallying her past clients and all his contacts in the business, legal, and academic community to make sure that her name was put forward.
Judge Harry T. Edwards recalled, “He was so in love with his wife and so respected her as a real giant in the legal profession, he felt it would be an outrage if she wasn’t seriously considered.”
Once her husband’s successful campaign had drawn sufficient attention to her considerable merits, RBG nailed the interview and became the second woman appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court, confirmed across party lines by an undeniable 96 to 3 votes.
In her own words, shared on social media yesterday by Arianna Huffington:
Ruth truly believed in equality — and love. In one of her final acts as a judge a few weeks ago, while battling cancer and the ongoing threat of the coronavirus pandemic? She officiated at a wedding.
Next up: Picking up a copy of “Notorious RBG: The Life and Times of Ruth Bader Ginsburg,” published in 2015 by Irin Carmon and Shana Knizhnik, the law student who started the “Notorious RBG” blog.
Thank you for everything, Ruth. And Marty, too.
