Continued from Part 6 of Erica’s story.
After spending six years in Washington, D.C., my tenth move as a trailing-spouse Navy wife brought us to the tropical paradise of Oahu in Hawaii.
By this point, with a little nudge from COVID times, my employer had seamlessly transitioned to remote work with no plans to return to a full-time, in-office model. My youngest daughter was also getting ready to leave home for her first year of college at the University of Tennessee. It made sense for me (and Gleyber, our red fox Lab) to join my husband for his two-year tour at the Pearl Harbor Naval Base.
Still, I was taking a leap, not knowing if I could keep my job or continue to feel like a successful part of the team with a six-hour time difference —but I knew if I didn’t try it, I would regret it.
This turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Sink or swim, climb or canoe
On the Gupte Scale, our move from Hawaii from Virginia had a perfect score: 15 out of 15. A perfect destination with the perfect timing, getting us out of an urban area during the pandemic. In terms of resources, we were lucky to be offered the house in “Hospital Point” that was featured in the the 2001 movie “Pearl Harbor,” with lots of tradition, history and support from the military base community.
When we arrived, the island was still under many of the same COVID-related restrictions that we had experienced on the mainland. Despite this, we quickly settled into life on the base — my first time living on one, actually — which provided us with everything we needed and made the most sense for our budget. The Aloha Spirit and welcoming culture immediately relaxed us after the stressful months we had spent selling our home and moving 4,800 miles away.
As someone who has always loved outdoor adventure, living in Hawaii gave me opportunities to explore an ocean and mountain paradise. It reminded me of our time stationed in Rota, Spain and living near the beach. During that tour, we had been able to travel around Europe; living on Oahu was similar, with affordable airfare for visiting all the Hawaiian islands.
I was lucky to have the opportunity visit Maui a few times and surfed and camped right in Lahaina, recently impacted by the fires. My outrigger canoe paddle was made there by brand Palafamala paddles; in the tragedy, the shop lost most of their stock of paddles. If you can help, here’s a GoFundMe page to support their recovery efforts.
Through our Navy community, I discovered the world of Hawaiian outrigger canoe racing and joined a local yacht club. Although I was a complete novice when it came to water sports, I was amazed at how quickly the native Hawaiians accepted me and helped me learn how to paddle and appreciate their rich culture. This experience reinforced for me the idea that a job or career does not define one’s life — it’s the experiences we have that shape who we are.
With this destination, we were also fortunate that many of our friends and family — including all three of our children — were eager and able to visit. The experiences we had together were unforgettable, exploring remote areas of Hawaii and pushing ourselves to new limits. Since I was working from home on East Coast hours, I was the ultimate tour guide for visitors; I’d wake up and work by 4 a.m. and be done by noon.
While this sounds like the perfect life, however, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Because of my work schedule, it was hard to enjoy the evenings; I felt sleep-deprived most of the time. For my husband, following East Coast sports teams and connecting with our kids after his own work hours was a challenge. Many times, we felt as though we were off on our own deserted island. The beauty was incredible, but two of our children got married (on the mainland) during last year we were there… when huge life moments happen, being close to family outweighs new experiences.
Despite the ongoing challenges of the pandemic with many restaurants closed and limitations on large social gatherings, the 18 months we spent in Hawaii felt like an extended vacation. As we prepared for our next transition — back east for my husband’s new job at Walter Reed Hospital in Bethesda, Maryland — it was also comforting knowing that I would be returning to normal work hours again with my employer. I just had to focus on finding a balance and bringing the Aloha Spirit with me back to the East Coast.
Lessons learned
Living out of just a few suitcases on both ends or our move has taught me how to exist without all the material things and live simply. It’s amazing how liberating it feels to let go of all the “extras” — and much easier to clean, too!
More importantly, I have learned the value of the Aloha Spirit and how it can be applied to all areas of life. By embracing this positive, adventurous, and open-minded mindset, I’ve learned to push myself to take risks and challenge myself in ways I never thought possible. Whether it was competing in the Queen Lili’uokalani Canoe Race or hiking the back way to the Stairway to Heaven, I now know that I am capable of achieving anything I set my mind to.
But most of all, I have learned the importance of creating an inclusive and welcoming environment for everyone regardless of their background or beliefs. Also, how much you can achieve when you have a strong, united team. If I can continue to bring this Aloha Spirit with me, no matter where I go, then I know my heart will always be full of visitors and happy people.
Sometimes the most difficult times are a catalyst to shift priorities and re-evaluate what truly matters. I had made a bold decision to move to Hawaii and put my career at risk. Luckily, it worked out; I was able to keep my job while also enjoying an opportunity to explore new passions, connect with nature, and immerse myself in a culture that values community, sustainability, and the preservation of the environment.
Bottom line: change and adaptation can be challenging, but by putting in the time and effort to learn new things, we can improve ourselves and all areas of our lives.
We left Oahu in March and immediately dove back into our careers. This time, we decided to purchase a brand-new construction home near my husband’s job, just steps away from a metro line and close to many outdoor running and biking trails. I also immediately joined the Washington Canoe Club on the Potomac River in Georgetown, so I could continue paddling in outrigger canoe races and keep my Aloha Spirit alive on the East Coast. With these very manageable commutes and still working somewhat remotely — just two days a week in the D.C. office — I was able to continue my focus on work/life balance.
On the Gupte Scale, our move from Hawaii back to D.C. has been a 12 out of 15. I felt fortunate once again to not have to change jobs, and to be reunited with my sister and family in D.C. — and to be closer for the birth of my first grandchild!
All told, although we loved our time in Hawaii, I felt highly motivated to get back to “reality” and continue where we had left off on the mainland two years ago. I’m excited to see what new adventures and opportunities await!
