Category:

Trailing Kids

Confessions of a Chronic Expat

by Kristin Duncombe June 21, 2021

Disclaimer: I am a former trailing spouse. My husband and I separated a few years ago, shortly after our move from Lyon, France to Geneva, Switzerland.

We are still very much a family, however, and my Ex lives up the street. But, if COVID-19 ever gets under control and he decides to move? I would not be faced, once again, with the question of closing up one life and inventing a new one wherever we land.

It’s not that this process has ever scared me. As a chronic expat, in the course of my 52 years, I’ve lived in 15 different cities, in nine countries, on four continents. I became a trailing spouse mainly because I fell madly in love with my sexy, smart Ex — but probably also because it seemed so normal to move around the globe because of a man’s job. My dad was a U.S. Foreign Service officer and my ex is a humanitarian medical doctor and epidemiologist who has worked with Médecins Sans Frontières/Doctors Without Borders (MSF).

First, I followed my father. Then, my husband. Now, I find it really exciting to ask only myself: Where next?

Career Transitions Coaching Driving Distance Expat Experiences Trailing Kids

Detour or Scenic Route… Why Not Both?

by Simone Holderbach June 13, 2021

written by Simone Holderbach

My journey as a trailing spouse began 18 years ago, when my husband accepted a postdoc position in Ontario, Canada after earning his Ph.D. in computer science from Germany’s Karlsruhe University.

I had been working as a process management and business development manager for Observer AB, an international media monitoring company, for almost a decade. I was on an amazing career trajectory with great colleagues, a good salary, and no shortage of exciting and challenging projects. As much as I loved my job, however, I had always hoped to live abroad again after getting a taste for it during two semesters spent exploring London and Paris.

Also, since our Canadian adventure was supposed to be limited to two years (the usual postdoctoral period), I viewed our relocation more like a sabbatical for myself and informed my parents that we would be back “before you know it.”

(Oops.)

Career Transitions Driving Distance Expat Experiences Trailing Kids

Just Keep Walking

by Estelle Broyer March 20, 2021

written by Estelle Broyer

Throughout my life, I’ve often thought about my favorite childhood book, Mister Dog by Margaret Wise Brown. Mister Dog’s mantra was: “Just walk and sooner or later you’ll get somewhere.” (Or, as I learned it as a little girl growing up in Lyon, France, “Marche au hasard, tu arriveras bien quelque part.”)

It’s a silly phrase, but I’ve always loved Monsieur Chien’s way of thinking. There is so much to learn from a place — and from the journey that takes us there — when we are open to discovery. I’ve tried my best to embrace every opportunity for personal growth, in good times and in challenging ones, and go with the flow even when moving thousands of miles away with only short-term plans in place.

Expat Experiences Trailing Kids

Cairo and Back Again

by Nada El Sawy March 2, 2021

written by Nada El Sawy

Continued from Part 1 of Nada’s story.

After graduating from the University of Southern California, earning my master’s degree from Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism in New York, and starting my career in Los Angeles, I made a winter trip back to Cairo for a cousin’s wedding. My future husband happened to be in Cairo at the same time, visiting his family.

We had been introduced through mutual family friends several years earlier in California, but life took us our separate ways. Now that we had each completed our studies and gotten started in our careers, the timing was right. (The commonalities between us as Egyptians who had lived, studied, and worked abroad, were a good starting point for a matchmaking opportunity.) The Egyptian grapevine worked its magic, and the next thing I knew, I was meeting him for lunch.

We hit it off and saw each other almost every day during my two-week stay. There was one catch, though: I lived in Los Angeles and he lived in London. In a year, he would be moving even farther away: the United Arab Emirates (UAE), based in Dubai as a management consultant.

Expat Experiences Trailing Kids

Finding My Feet in Egypt

by Nada El Sawy February 22, 2021

written by Nada El Sawy

I moved to Cairo at three very different times in my life: as an 11-year-old kid, a 20-year-old college student, and last summer, as a 40-year-old spouse and mother.

One could argue that as an Egyptian American, I should consider Egypt my “homeland.” But as a Xennial born and raised in California, Egypt felt nowhere near home in the early ’90s, when my parents told me and my brothers that we would be moving there.

Career Transitions Coaching Driving Distance Trailing Kids

Seventh Time’s the Charm: Career Reinvention Through Cross-Country Relocations

by Jennifer Kass February 7, 2021

written by Jennifer Kass

For years, whenever I Googled stories of fellow trailing spouses, the search results focused on expat experiences or career disappointments. I’m so glad that I recently discovered Trailing-Spouse.com, filled with inspiring stories of all kinds of people who “get” my challenges and have also seized opportunities for professional and personal growth along the way.

In my case, I’ve experienced seven moves — four prompted by a partner’s job loss. It’s a story of resilience, reinvention, and a LOT of networking. I now spend my time helping other women with their own reinventions, sharing the lessons I’ve learned along the (hard) way through my own non-linear journey.

Driving Distance Military Moves Trailing Kids

From Red States to Blue States

by Erica Klinger January 16, 2021

written by Erica Klinger

Trailing spouses are forced to encounter change more than the average human, often without much support. In my 26 years as a Navy wife, my family has experienced 10 house moves, including five different states and one overseas tour. Throughout this adventure, I’ve continued prioritizing my professional advancement as a creative marketing professional. In the past, pursuing your own career dreams hasn’t been expected of military wives — but times are changing and I hope sharing my story publicly for the first time inspires others to never give up on their dreams.

Continued from part four of Erica’s story…

As a Navy spouse, my family’s frequent relocations have exposed me not only to interesting cultural differences, but to the sharp contrasts in political and moral viewpoints within the same country. In that sense, our biggest move was our 2013 transfer from the “red state” of Tennessee to the “blue state” of Washington. (A 10/15 on the Gupte Scale, for reasons shared in my previous blog post.)

I generally take a bipartisan attitude, marking my ballots based on current issues rather than party loyalties, and try to avoid discussing politics. But, as recent elections have reminded us all, every person’s vote really matters — not just in swing states every four years, but also for local offices and initiatives. During my time in the Pacific Northwest, where the default system of voting-by-mail seems to have led to stronger civic participation than in other places we had lived, I started to learn more about the key issues facing our country and really solidified my passion for working in health care and patient advocacy.

Cost of Living

In addition to switching from politically conservative to progressive circles, we knew that there would be many other cultural shifts to consider in our move from the Mid South to the Pacific Northwest. Instead of “y’all” and sunny bright colors, we’d have to fit into a more trendy world of wearing black and grey, tattoos and people who didn’t immediately invite me into their conversations.

Career Transitions Expat Experiences Military Moves Trailing Kids

Finding Our Middle Ground in the Mid-South

by Erica Klinger September 1, 2020

written by Erica Klinger

Continued from Part 3 of Erica’s story…

After spending four years exploring Europe from our base at Naval Station Rota, the Klinger family headed back to the USA in 2008. This time, we were being introduced to another new culture: the Mid-South, a region nearly as foreign to my New Englander self as Spain had first seemed. This would also be an administrative assignment for my husband, so for the first time, we wouldn’t be living near the ocean.

We decided to live in Lakeland, a Tennessee town with great public schools and plenty of space for our three kids to grow up. It was close to Millington, where my husband was stationed, and only 45 minutes from downtown Memphis.

Career Transitions Coaching Expat Experiences Military Moves Trailing Kids

Lessons From a Trailing Kid: Career Resilience

by Ekua Cant August 3, 2020

written by Ekua Cant

As a trailing kid, you don’t really know what nationality you are; you adopt the culture and customs of the country around you. The three formative years I spent in America, where my father was stationed with the British Army, has had a profound impact on my life as an adult today; I even enjoy Hershey’s Chocolate, which most Brits can’t stand!

In addition to growing up in a military family, I am a Third Culture Kid (TCK) who has been raised in three different countries (the United Kingdom, Germany, the United States) by parents who come from Ghana.

Career Transitions Coaching Expat Experiences Military Moves Trailing Kids

Lessons From a Trailing Kid: Emotional Resilience

by Ekua Cant July 15, 2020

written by Ekua Cant

Change is constant, isn’t it? I’ve learned this to be at peace with this. In fact, I’m the kind of person who can remain upbeat and energetic in almost any situation.

My emotional resilience didn’t come naturally, however. I was a shy, middle child who found moving stressful and unsettling; it took a lot of effort for me to make new friends. But since my dad was a doctor in the British Armed Forces, our family was always moving to new postings: 1. 1986 – 1988 Bückeburg, Rinteln (Germany), 2. Bethesda, Maryland (USA) 1988 – 1981, 3. Bückeburg, Rinteln (Germany), 4. 1995- 2000 Fleet, Hampshire, 5. 2000 -2009 Hilsea, Portsmouth. On top of that, I was also a Third Culture Kid (TCK) navigating the cultural influences around me through the lens of my family’s Ghanaian origins.