Category:

Book Club

From Flailing Spouse to Badass Abroad

by Claire Hauxwell May 17, 2023

In 2008, I had an ideal life. I was working part-time for a chemical company as a supply chain implementation lead, and I was a part-time stay at home mom in the suburbs of Richmond, Virginia. It felt like I had the best of both worlds — until my husband came home with an opportunity to send us halfway around the world.

As a couple, we’d always been open to moving; six years into our marriage, we were already on our third move together. So, when he told me about his company’s offer to move us to Prague, it felt like a no-brainer. We collectively made the decision to seize the opportunity and lean into the adventure.

It was only a two-year assignment. It’d be like going on a really long vacation, right?

Book Club Career Transitions Coaching Expat Experiences Trailing Kids

Yesterday’s Gone; Tomorrow Will Be Here

by Kristin Duncombe March 9, 2023

written by Kristin Duncombe

Now I know I can’t lose

As long as you follow

I’m going to win

I’m going to beg, steal, or borrow

As long as you follow
Fleetwood Mac

Since Fleetwood Mac’s Christine McVie died on November 30, I’ve been listening to “As Long As You Follow” on repeat, often with tears, but sometimes with laughter, remembering how I once joked that it was the perfect song for the career expat.

“You can sing this to me at our wedding!” I chirped at my then-fiancé, when we were discussing plans for our married life.

We didn’t know where we were going, or when. All we knew was that at any moment, a call would come from his employer and we’d have a week to wrap up our lives. We said our “I do’s” in New Orleans, and next thing I knew we were on a flight to Nairobi, where he had a role that would fulfill him for the next two years, and I… well, I had myself to contend with.

Following to a fault

Though he never sang McVie’s words to me, I followed my husband: from Nairobi to Kampala to Paris to Lyon and finally, eight years ago, to Geneva.

Book Club Expat Experiences

Diplomatic Baggage: Still On Trend

by Brigid Keenan August 4, 2022

written by Brigid Keenan

I am walking on air! My book Diplomatic Baggage, first published in 2005 about my adventures as a trailing spouse to my E.U. diplomat husband AW, has been bought by Bloomsbury and released again with a fancy – you could almost say sexy – new cover!

A big thank you to Alexandra Pringle, who published my last two memoirs (Packing Up: Further Adventures of a Trailing Spouse and Full Marks for Trying: An Unlikely Journey from the Raj to the Rag Trade) and decided to make it a trilogy with Dip Bag.

I made so many friends all around the world during the years described in the book, and then through hearing from its readers (including Nicole, the creator of this very blog)! When I wrote Dip Bag, I don’t think I appreciated quite how many of us trailing spouses there were because I was mainly thinking of dip wives like myself and not the hundreds — thousands — whose partners work abroad for other reasons. I now realize that I am part of a real global family.

Book Club Expat Experiences Trailing Kids

Turning Trailing Life into Thrilling Material

by Chris Pavone July 8, 2022

written by Chris Pavone

Editor’s Note: The inspiration for Chris Pavone’s 2012 bestselling debut novel, The Expats, came from his 18-month experience as a trailing spouse in Luxembourg. Now the author of five thrilling novels, including the recently released Two Nights in Lisbon, he has agreed to share his own story with our readers as part of our Trailing-Spouse Book Club.

*Need a summer reading recommendation? Check these out!*

How did you become a trailing spouse?

My wife and I both worked in book publishing. One evening, she came home from work and asked, “What would you think of living in Luxembourg?” I was nearly 40 years old, and except for my college years at Cornell University in upstate New York, I’d never lived anywhere other than my hometown of New York City. This felt like a pretty big hole in a repertoire of life experiences, a problem that could be solved simply by saying yes. So I did.

Book Club Bucket Listing Career Transitions Expat Experiences

Living, Loving, and Leaving the Flipside

by Elliott Asbury April 9, 2022

written by Elliott Asbury

For most of 2018, I considered myself a pretty ordinary guy, living a relatively ordinary life in the middle of America, with a rather ordinary job. I ate leftover pasta at my desk for lunch, I listened to Morning Edition in the car every day, and on weekends I’d watch college football on TV and maybe brew a batch of beer.

But suddenly, my girlfriend’s job offered a foreign assignment. Extraordinary!

Book Club Expat Experiences

Embassy Wife: Behind the Book

by Katie Crouch October 24, 2021

written by Katie Crouch

Editor’s Note: Have you read “Embassy Wife” yet? Katie Crouch’s novel was one of our 2021 summer reading recommendations, but it’s good all year round!

See below for our Q&A about how her life inspired this fun and thought-provoking read.

Book Club Expat Experiences Trailing Kids

My Awful Good Fortune

by Marcie Maxfield August 11, 2021

written by Marcie Maxfield

My family has moved around a lot for my husband’s job. We try to focus on what we stand to gain — usually, it’s financial.

But, inevitably, you always lose things in a move. Some of it is just stuff — books and kitchen gadgets — but some of it is more ephemeral. Things you can’t hold in your hand or pack in a box. Things like identity, community, career, and financial independence.

I’ve spent some time mired in this sense of loss; believe me, it’s not a place you want to dwell indefinitely. My new novel, Em’s Awful Good Fortune, based on my life as a trailing spouse, explores the struggles and compromises between personal goals and family needs.

Ultimately, it’s a story about redefining oneself.

Book Club Expat Experiences

Summer Reading for Happy Trails

by Nicole Neroulias Gupte June 28, 2021

written by Nicole Neroulias Gupte

All it took was Year 2 of a global pandemic, combined with a great deal on Amazon Prime Day, for me to finally break down and purchase a Kindle e-reader. (I may have been the last person in Seattle without one.) The ability to borrow library books digitally is hugely useful for my nomadic lifestyle, but I still prefer print media — even though my husband rolls his eyes alarming back into his head at my teetering piles of magazines, newspapers, hardcovers and paperbacks. Taking up precious luggage space, no less!

In my defense, however, I often meet interesting people on our travels through the ice-breaker of comparing what we’re physically reading — something you can’t very well do when you’re staring at glowing screens — and my load gets lighter as I bequeath my dead tree materials to my new friends or leave them behind the next crop of hotel guests to enjoy.

Ever since the COVID-19 pandemic hit, I’ve gravitated towards historical fiction and memoirs, especially with descriptive language about the food and scenery. When considering a selection of summer reading recs for or about trailing spouses, here’s a diverse list with something for everyone, with links to their Goodreads descriptions:

Book Club Coaching Expat Experiences Trailing Kids

Confessions of a Chronic Expat

by Kristin Duncombe June 21, 2021

written by Kristin Duncombe

Disclaimer: I am a former trailing spouse. My husband and I separated a few years ago, shortly after our move from Lyon, France to Geneva, Switzerland.

We are still very much a family, however, and my Ex lives up the street. But, if COVID-19 ever gets under control and he decides to move? I would not be faced, once again, with the question of closing up one life and inventing a new one wherever we land.

It’s not that this process has ever scared me. As a chronic expat, in the course of my 52 years, I’ve lived in 15 different cities, in nine countries, on four continents. I became a trailing spouse mainly because I fell madly in love with my sexy, smart Ex — but probably also because it seemed so normal to move around the globe because of a man’s job. My dad was a U.S. Foreign Service officer and my ex is a humanitarian medical doctor and epidemiologist who has worked with Médecins Sans Frontières/Doctors Without Borders (MSF).

First, I followed my father. Then, my husband. Now, I find it really exciting to ask only myself: Where next?

Book Club Driving Distance

Remembering Ruth Bader Ginsburg — and Marty, Too

by Nicole Neroulias Gupte September 19, 2020

written by Nicole Neroulias Gupte

When it comes to #TrailingSpouseGoals, RBG is our GOAT.

U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s death on Friday has renewed interest in her incredible life story: persevering through partner-prompted relocations, health crises, and decades of systemic discrimination, culminating in a triumphant third act as the towing spouse — with her husband Martin as her biggest champion.