It’s one thing to leave family, friends, and employment opportunities behind to accompany our spouses when their careers require a relocation. But when the move also means giving up our favorite foods? Yikes.
“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”
Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own
As a tourist or business traveler, I’ve found myself saddened by two edible extremes: discovering amazing new foods that I won’t be able to find again back home vs. managing the absence of a dietary staple while on my journey.
For the latter, anyone can make it work for a vacation or short-term stay — I stand by my exasperation with visitors who come to India and get annoyed when they can’t find hamburgers — but when you live somewhere permanently or for an indefinite period, homesickness for your favorite foods and drinks can twist those stomachaches into sufferings of the soul.
A Heavenly Spread
Predating my love of “The Good Place” and the show’s Janet (not-a-girl, not-a-robot) afterlife assistant, I have a theory that paradise will be a beachside buffet where I’ll finally be able to enjoy all my favorite meals from the places where they taste their very best. Margaritas and guacamole from Mexico? Greek salad and flaming saganaki from Greece? Grilled halloumi and pork kebabs from Cyprus? Fried bombil and pomfret from India? Maple sugar candy and Tim Horton’s coffee from Canada? Ivar’s clam chowder and a heaping bowl of mixed berries from Seattle? New York City pizza and bagels? Ah… pure bliss.
As a parent, I’ve observed that 70 percent of my children’s tantrums are due to being hangry. But only recently did I realize that the same applies to adults, given our far more sophisticated powers of denial. To wit: I didn’t even know how grumpy I had become until an expat friend in Delhi tipped me off to a grocery store stocked with American brands; I’m told that my face relaxed into an expression of goofy happiness as I gazed upon the wide aisles of brightly-colored cereal boxes and familiar snacks.
As expats in Delhi for the foreseeable future, our cravings fall into one of three categories: comfort food, luxury food, and phantom food.
Comfort Food: Nothing fancy. Most likely something you enjoyed as a youth; maybe an ethnic staple, maybe not the healthiest option. But it makes you smile when you taste it, perhaps releasing a flood of childhood memories like Proust’s tea-soaked madeleine moment; even the sight or smell of it after a long absence calms you down. You may not be able to find it in your new home, so you pack it in bulk or have visitors bring it as the price of admission to your guest bed. Sometimes, you can find it — but it’s super expensive (see below) or not the same quality. Delhi examples: Jolly Ranchers, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Crackers, Multigrain Cheerios, Swiss Miss hot chocolate.
Luxury Food: Something that’s now more than double what you’re used to paying — but you’re willing to spend the big bucks, since it’s something you can’t easily bring from home or ask visitors to bring for you (i.e., it’s not cheap back there either, it’s tough to pack, or not permitted through customs). Delhi examples: avocados, feta cheese, hot dogs, raspberries.
Phantom Food: You can’t find it in your new place, and you can’t bring it in, either. You just have to do without it. The only solution to this sacrifice is to plan for periodic trips back home, where you eat or drink these items in bulk until you’re thoroughly sick of them for a while. Delhi examples: Lactaid milk, butter pecan ice cream, New York City pizza.
Supply Meets Demand
The good news is that as Thomas Friedman’s world grows flatter, that heavenly buffet has inched closer to becoming an earthly reality. My grandmother had to make Greek yogurt for us when I was a kid in New York, and we missed Nutella dearly throughout the school year; now I can find both items easily in the U.S. and India. Similarly, my list of go-to treats to pack for my extended family in Cyprus has shrunk significantly; the lone exceptions seem to be Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Pacific Northwest wine, but I bet that’s already shifted by the time you read this.
If this trend continues, in another 10 years, most phantom food will have become luxury food or comfort food — or just food.
Until then, we’ll continue packing Swiss Miss hot chocolate and Goldfish cracker packets for our family odysseys — while also learning to enjoy the new tastes and textures around us so much, we’re sure to miss them when we’ve moved on. It’s a delicious cycle!
Got a comfort food, luxury food or phantom food you’ve been craving? Got tips for finding or transporting them more easily? Share your thoughts in the Comments below.
