Trailing spouses are forced to encounter change more than the average human, often without much support. In my 26 years as a Navy wife, my family has experienced 10 house moves, including five different states and one overseas tour. Throughout this adventure, I’ve continued prioritizing my professional advancement as a creative marketing professional. In the past, pursuing your own career dreams hasn’t been expected of military wives — but times are changing and I hope sharing my story publicly for the first time inspires others to never give up on their dreams.
Continued from part four of Erica’s story…
As a Navy spouse, my family’s frequent relocations have exposed me not only to interesting cultural differences, but to the sharp contrasts in political and moral viewpoints within the same country. In that sense, our biggest move was our 2013 transfer from the “red state” of Tennessee to the “blue state” of Washington. (A 10/15 on the Gupte Scale, for reasons shared in my previous blog post.)
I generally take a bipartisan attitude, marking my ballots based on current issues rather than party loyalties, and try to avoid discussing politics. But, as recent elections have reminded us all, every person’s vote really matters — not just in swing states every four years, but also for local offices and initiatives. During my time in the Pacific Northwest, where the default system of voting-by-mail seems to have led to stronger civic participation than in other places we had lived, I started to learn more about the key issues facing our country and really solidified my passion for working in health care and patient advocacy.
Cost of Living
In addition to switching from politically conservative to progressive circles, we knew that there would be many other cultural shifts to consider in our move from the Mid South to the Pacific Northwest. Instead of “y’all” and sunny bright colors, we’d have to fit into a more trendy world of wearing black and grey, tattoos and people who didn’t immediately invite me into their conversations.
The cost of living was also much higher. Yet, with two kids still at home, we decided to play real estate roulette and buy a home just outside the Bremerton Naval base in a charming town called Poulsbo, known as the “Little Norway” of the Kitsap Peninsula. It was situated right on Liberty Bay with waterfront restaurants, art galleries and shops. It was also just an hour’s ferry ride to downtown Seattle — and my younger sister, who had just given birth to twin girls. We found a colonial-style house at the top of a big hill with a secluded lot, surrounded by beautiful skinny pines.
The Northwest was visually stunning, a sharp contrast to the suburbanized living we had outside of Memphis, Tennessee. We were in close proximity to my husband’s job at the Naval Hospital, and the public schools were highly rated. While my artistic side was interested in exploring Seattle’s coffee houses and grunge scene, as an outdoors enthusiast, I was even more thrilled to be driving distance away from the Olympic and Cascade mountain ranges. Coupled with the quaintness of our town and cafe culture, I felt we were back in Europe again.
I didn’t realize the seclusion would have a negative impact on my career, however; I would leave Seattle having three different jobs in just three years.
Trying New Things
With my children growing older and needing me less at home, and the employment security of my one-year consulting contract for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, I decided it was a good time to try my hand in a more “new business” focused position. We agreed to open a digital satellite office and try to generate new clients in the tech-savvy Seattle area. In theory, it sounded like a killer idea. I was promoted to VP of Marketing and ready with a business plan. We’d be able to price lower on our proposals because of the lower cost of resources in the Mid South, while offering high quality work.
What I didn’t factor in was the time required to commute to the city and build new relationships. With traffic and ferry schedules, the trip could take anywhere from 1.5 to 2 hours each way. I also lacked a strong local professional network; although my sister and husband held highly creative and branding roles, they were busy balancing their own careers in addition to a new family. Very quickly, I realized it would take a lot longer than expected to garner business. Within six months, I started looking at other career opportunities in the area.
From our previous duty stations, I had learned that work-life balance was a priority for me. Through a mutual friend of my son’s, I discovered a prominent digital agency just biking distance from my house that was willing to create a senior digital strategist position focused on nonprofit advocacy. Although it was a lower salary, they were able to bring me on immediately to work on a very large website contract for a top national nonprofit. It was a 180-degree change, within weeks — I went from traditional office cubicle, Microsoft Office and an old PC to cutting edge tech, stand-up desks, MacBook Pro and open office with mountain views.
Agility, disruption and competition was valued. I felt like I was working at Google or Amazon. Many times we’d use emerging software such as Zoom with just each other, even while sitting at the same table! (In hindsight, this was great preparation for the 2020 pandemic.) Through this position, I mastered cutting-edge project management using tools like Slack and BaseCamp to become more efficient with my team of eight marketing, content and tech strategists.
I hadn’t been able to bike to work since we lived in Spain, and was additionally thrilled that wearing jeans was not just accepted, but the norm in the Northwest. We could spend family vacations at Mount Baker and local ski cabins, go on a cruise to Alaska and visit Vancouver. My son was one of the top baseball players in the state and also a strong football player. I was able to attend after-school games and cook dinner for my kids, and see my sister’s family regularly. I spoiled my beautiful twin nieces and we established a strong bond and moments we’d never forget. My youngest daughter was meeting new friends, despite the fact that the nearest neighbor was a long walk away. Life was good!
After just six months, however, I started getting flashbacks to my old advertising start-up days. My role was brand new and I was hired based on a personal reference and specifical for a new large-scale project. I didn’t feel secure. The company lost a large client and talk of employee and budget cuts were imminent. Having already taken a salary decrease for this position, I started quickly looking at other options. Plus, I now felt more confident with the cultural lingo to compete for a job in downtown Seattle. I knew the long commute would be a challenge, but since my kids were arlready integrated into their schools and the community, I felt I had no choice but to find a job in the city.
I soon found a better fit — one that would broaden my skills from just digital and tech to a wider marketing position, which would also put me in a stronger position for future relocations — as Director of Marketing at Seattle Foundation, a community foundation where philanthropic account managers worked with the community program managers to identify opportunities for impactful change and growth in King County. Although this was brand new role with a small team, it was a very strategic and influential one, working with high-tech billionaire fundholders, government agencies, and large corporations, all led by new CEO Tony Mestres, a former VP of Marketing at Microsoft. I was his first hire and “digital change agent” to help transform a very traditional and historic culture, operating much the same way for the past 100 years, into an even more compelling and exciting vision.
The work was intense, but inspiring. I was truly astonished at the philanthropic nature of the city and our fundholders. In one of my earliest marketing initiatives, I collaborated with over 1,500 different nonprofits and local media and sponsors on GiveBIG, a pioneering giving day campaign that raised over $10 million in just 24 hours. I worked with partners such as the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, Amazon, Tableau, The Seattle Times and Philanthropy Northwest and interacted with some of the most intelligent and caring people I ever met — including our own Nicole Neroulias Gupte, executive editor of this blog!
Even better, my oldest daughter decided to transfer and attend college in Washington, just a 5-hour drive away. I was super happy to have everyone together in the same state again. As she was reflecting on her career and major, I had deeply hoped that by showing her my resilience and flexibility in my career, would inspire her for when those real-life decisions hit her after she graduated.
Becoming a Leader
Mentorship was also a new focus for me. Now that I was a senior professional, I could give back to other women. I participated in the International Women’s Day walk, frequently met with young graduates hoping to start a career in digital, and joined several digital and philanthropic boards, and started accepting speaker roles at conferences.
Seattle was a hot spot for issues and political advocacy, filled with energy and acceptance of unlimited ideas, diversity and self-expression.
Being part of a community all driving in the same direction is motivating, and you’ll find endless possibilities to make a difference in the lives of people who need it most. Equity was a topic of emended conversation and I’d often look out my office window to see demonstrations happening near Pike Place Market. The 4-hour commute a day was a real challenge (although the daily view of Mount Rainier and local brews on tap made it feel better), but it also opened the doors to some memorable moments for the family — such as meeting the Seattle Sounders FC professional soccer team, NFL Seattle Seahawks players, and visits to Facebook’s regional HQ.
After two years with Seattle Foundation, including a successful rebranding effort, migration to a new website and giving platforms, and an unprecedented increase in funds raised, it was time to move on. Although I had known that another move was unavoidable, based on my husband’s job requirements, I had been holding out hope that our Northwest stay might be extended. I was crushed to be leaving my job, our oldest daughter, my sister and nieces, and my hard-won professional network and friends. To rub salt in the wounds, my sister’s office was now moving just one block away from mine.
The silver lining was that it was an election year, and we’d be in “the other Washington,” in the thick of the excitement over Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton, and Donald Trump. And, after all, my other sister lived in D.C., too. Still, on the Gupte Scale, this move was only a 5/15 — our lowest score yet…
Check back in March/April for the sixth installment of Erica’s story.
