Trailing spouses are forced to encounter change more than the average human, often without much support. In my 26 years as a Navy wife, my family has experienced 10 house moves, including five different states and one overseas tour. Throughout this adventure, I’ve continued prioritizing my professional advancement as a creative marketing professional. In the past, pursuing your own career dreams hasn’t been expected of military wives — but times are changing and I hope sharing my story publicly for the first time inspires others to never give up on their dreams.
Continued from Part 3 of Erica’s story…
After spending four years exploring Europe from our base at Naval Station Rota, the Klinger family headed back to the USA in 2008. This time, we were being introduced to another new culture: the Mid-South, a region nearly as foreign to my New Englander self as Spain had first seemed. This would also be an administrative assignment for my husband, so for the first time, we wouldn’t be living near the ocean.
We decided to live in Lakeland, a Tennessee town with great public schools and plenty of space for our three kids to grow up. It was close to Millington, where my husband was stationed, and only 45 minutes from downtown Memphis.
As we had hoped, thanks to the low cost of living compared to our previous tours, we were able to purchase a beautiful lakefront home we had seen while visiting some Navy friends from our New Hampshire days who had also moved to town.
Given that this was the largest space we’d ever had, with a huge yard, of course we had to give in to our son’s weeks of pleading for a puppy. We found a pup we instantly fell in love with at a local shelter and named him Zugsgize, after a glacier we skied in Germany, thinking he was a mastiff — but, it turned out he was an adult puggle, full grown at only 30 pounds!
We also chose this location for its proximity to the Navy Morale, Welfare and Recreation (MWR) training and education offices. I had worked for MWR in Spain, helping advance its mission to provide recreation and activities for active duty members and their families. As the marketing manager and public affairs specialist, I led the redesign of the Naval Base Rota MWR website and built a custom content management and workflow system that was adopted in the European region; now MWR headquarters was considering implementing this technology across the United States. As soon as we got settled, I started talking with MWR about continuing this project in Millington.
As a longtime military wife and trailing spouse, however, I was not too surprised when my career path pivoted again. It became clear that the MWR project would not be ready to launch anytime soon, and I increasingly felt drawn to the faster pace and creative culture of the nearby Memphis job scene, where I could return to my artistic roots. A tech placement firm hooked me up with a two-week Flash programming gig at one of the city’s larger ad agencies, Signature, which then offered a full-time senior interactive strategist position. I felt energized and excited about being part of transforming their business with emerging digital service. Although I didn’t have a degree in marketing or business, my 10 years of experience in web startups had given me the skills and competitive instincts needed to succeed.
Before I knew it, my life had morphed again, this time from a European fairy tale into a season of “Mad Men.”
Shifting the balance
On our last two Navy tours, my focus had been on finding the right balance between my career and my family. Now that our children were older and with my husband’s full support, I had the freedom to follow my passions and take on extra hours and responsibility at work. I proved to be successful in garnering new business and was promoted within the first year to department digital director, overseeing a talented 12-person team and serving as the primary “pitch” person on new proposals and concepts for clients, including FedEx and Hilton Worldwide. My vision was the limit for creating web applications and websites, and my European programmer contacts came in handy for custom solutions, too.
Our children also seemed to be excelling, too. My oldest daughter, now in high school, had joined the competitive hip-hop dance and softball teams. My son, now in middle school, proved to be an exceptionally talented baseball player (just like his dad). My youngest, in elementary school, fit right in and spent many hours on the ball fields with new friends. The moms in the neighborhood were close and it seemed we were living the American dream. How could things get better?
Well, as we all know, perfect happiness is short-lived. My husband found out he was being deployed to Djibouti for at least six months, and communication would be difficult. How could I manage my demanding career, our family’s busy schedules, a dog and a household, on my own? Fortunately, my employers were very understanding. When my youngest was sick, they even let me bring her to the office to sleep under my desk! She missed her daddy fiercely, although I tried hard to be the best mom ever. She slept in my bed for most of his deployment (which had never happened before with any of our kids) and would even save all her school papers — only the good grades, of course! — under his side of the bed for when he came back.
As a solo parent, I was grateful for my work family, friends, and neighbors. My oldest daughter got her driver’s license and took on more babysitting and household help — but my heart ached as I began to see more clearly how difficult the transition from Spain to Tennessee had been for her, particularly since we weren’t in a military community where newcomers were the norm. The local teenagers had strong cliques; coaches had favorite players; families had known each other since birth. She was perceived as an “outsider,” and even experienced enough racial discrimination (as the only Caucasian) on her hip hop team to make her quit. Our house was vandalized with graffiti, most likely a prank by her bullies.
Always mindful of our budget, we had chosen our town partly for its highly rated public school system. But, after careful consideration, I ultimately transferred her to a private school. It simply felt like the best way to protect my family, especially while my husband was so far from home.
This was a tough time, but we came out stronger and my kids learned that they can overcome adversity. In fact, they still say they have fond memories of this tour!
Working hard, giving back
I’ve always believed that if you work hard, give back, and do your best to make the right choices, eventually things will work out.
One day, I got a call about a position in ALSAC, the huge marketing team leading national fundraising efforts for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. Founded by Danny Thomas, St. Jude is a special place where some of America’s sickest kids go when other treatments did not work, providing free medical care and family housing during a child’s treatment and leading global research efforts to advance the cures of pediatric catastrophic diseases. I had submitted my resume when I first moved to the area, and after three years, they were now looking to add digital functions to their marketing team.
Although I had been happy at my commercial firm, this seemed like a career move that would allow me to use my skills for a higher purpose. If I was going to leave my kids to work, I could have the peace of mind that I was doing it for a wonderful cause and that my kids would be proud of me.
During my two years at St. Jude, I learned that mission-oriented organization and activating communities was a good fit for me. As Director of Interactive Promotion, my team executed our first ever patient Google Hangout, crafted interactive holiday eCards, implemented the first digital advertising campaigns for Marlo’s Thomas’ annual holiday Thanks and Giving campaign, engineered the “Hey Jude” video to go viral, and gained over a million Facebook followers. Social media was the new rage, and I was even asked to be on the first Google nonprofit summit in Washington, D.C.
These were amazing achievements, but what was even more incredible is that through generous support from corporations and celebrities around the country, we were able to increase online giving by 150% to directly support hospital patients and new research to find a cure for pediatric cancer.
After five years in Tennessee, it was time to move to my husband’s next duty station. I left Memphis feeling on top of the world — and with a one-year contract through my old ad agency to continue working in a consultant capacity.
Although as always, it was hard to leave our friends, I was confident that we could make our next tour just as fulfilling — this time, in the Pacific Northwest, based at Bremerton Naval Hospital outside Seattle. Coincidentally, my youngest sister had moved to Seattle and was pregnant with twins! After so many tours without any extended family nearby, I was hopeful this next move would be the best one yet. Reflecting back, I would give this move a 10/15 on the Gupte Scale.
Continue reading the fifth installment of Erica’s story, as her family adjusted to the shift from a red state to a blue state.
