Happy New Year! Many New Year’s Resolutions typically focus on health, and in COVID times, this is no longer an area of our lives that any of us take for granted.
Whether you’ve resolved to focus on gaining boundless energy, losing excess weight, or feeling youthful vitality? I want to share a powerful insight — especially for those of you, like me, who find yourselves much farther away from home than ever expected, in a place that already takes you way out of your comfort zone.
That insight? Your body will set you free.
Simply put, it does not matter your age, gender, size, or ethnicity. If you have a human body, then know that your DNA contains an optimal health code that is waiting to automatically produce massive energy, eliminate excess weight, physical beauty, and heal itself. The key is to understand your metabolism and provide your body what it needs, so that it can do its job.
I did not learn this insight until I was in my mid 30s, teaching math in Hong Kong — and, to tell you the truth, it ran counter to everything I ever learned or experienced about my own health. Additionally, I was on a completely unrelated career track, as an international school teacher.
So how did I get here?
During my first teaching position, near Beijing in northern China, I met a colleague who would become my wife. After four years there, we traveled back to the United States to get married, then moved to another school in Brazil. Both our children were born during our five years there, then we accepted new positions in Hong Kong.
Along the way, I kept gaining weight with each passing year, on top of daily fatigue and chronic joint pain. I had been an athlete growing up, but my body started to change after university. Gradually, I found myself powering through my days by using energy drinks. On top of that, it seemed like no matter what exercise routine I tried, or diet plan I followed, nothing ever helped. By the time I was 35, I no longer felt comfortable in my own body.
Two years into our lives in Hong Kong, through a chance encounter with a cellular biologist (who is now my business partner), I learned how to balance my metabolism and lifestyle. Within 40 days, I began waking up refreshed — no more dips in the afternoon — with the energy to play with my kids at the end of the day. I returned to my high school weight and my joint pain was gone.
All from learning how to work with my metabolism and nourish my body with the proper balance of real food. No supplements, shakes, or gym are required. The health results were amazing, but the biggest thing that changed was my outlook on life. I felt happier, more vibrant, and ready to take on bigger goals.
Changing careers and lives
After many hours of thinking and journaling about my desire to change careers and pursue my newfound passion for personal health, I made my decision during a date night at a local Mediterranean grill. In deciding to leave teaching, I felt excited, happy, joyful, exhilarated — but also anxious and nervous. Luckily, I have an incredible wife who supports me and she looked me straight in the eyes and said “Go for it!”
Since 2019, I have taken on the role of the primary caregiver along with running Nutritional Fitness, a cellular nutrition company that helps people nourish their bodies with delicious food so it can automatically produce the results they want to live a healthy, vital, and abundant life. We provide programs with coaching that guide individuals on how to work with their metabolism and nourish their bodies.
Since my decision to become a trailing spouse, my wife’s teaching career has taken our family from Hong Kong to Lisbon, Portugal, and now Delhi, India. Each country and city has had its charm and wonderful things to explore, including the food! Both cities also have had drawbacks, of course, but those provide the contrasts that help you fall in love with the rest. On the Gupte Scale, I would rate them both a 14/15: five points for destination, five points for timing, and four points for resources.
(I took off a point for resources as both cities have a vast selection of resources, however learning how to procure them takes time. Although it’s fun exploring and finding new ones, it’s also frustrating as you do not know where to find them at first. )
Of course, it has not all been rainbows and sunshine — but our relocations have taught me many valuable lessons and made me a happier, more energetic person. My positivity comes from the sense that there’s no such thing as perfection. Time will always keep moving forward, that is the only constant. This perspective gives me the confidence to act, even when it might be uncomfortable.
And yet, I could not have imagined the tremendous personal and professional growth I gained from shifting vocations and following my wife’s career around the globe. From being a better husband, father, leader, and business owner, all of them improved through the experiences I gained from this new role in my family and life.
Accepting opportunities and challenges
In accepting the opportunities that come with becoming a trailing spouse, I also agreed to embrace the challenges.
First, the personal challenges. Moving into the role of our family’s head housekeeper — e.g., getting our kids ready for school, making sure they get to their activities, scheduling their doctor’s appointments — meant learning a whole new set of skills, including how to better communicate with children. I became aware early on that I needed some help, especially if I wanted a deeper relationship with them when they became teenagers. Thus, I reached out to my network of coaches and found a couple of amazing humans that taught me invaluable lessons on how to “parent through connection.”
I’m definitely in the minority as a male primary caregiver, and have felt a little out of place when I entered support groups of mainly all females. Reflecting on my experience of living as an expat in multiple countries, however, has helped me push past those feelings of discomfort, too.
Second, the professional challenges. One hurdle to running an international business is creating workable schedules. Most of my meetings are based in U.S. time zones. After living overseas for more than a decade, I had already become an expert on speaking with family and friends at odd times — but India Standard Time’s 30-minute split-difference has taken a little more getting used to (there have been a couple of times when I enter a Zoom room too early)!
As cliché as it may sound, our moves have made me appreciate my family so much more. Locations have changed. Languages have changed. Food has changed. However, my wife and children have been the constants, and I have learned to appreciate them even more with each move.
For example, during the COVID lockdown in Lisbon last spring, we could only leave our house during certain hours each day. My wife was home, I was home, and both kids were home due to online school. There were a few tense moments during that first week; everything that could go wrong, did. (Young kids don’t stay in one place for too long!) I remember my wife and I both being on Zoom calls, our three-year-old daughter was crying because she could not find a pencil for her Pre-K class, and our five-year-old son was running in the background of our calls, bored from too much screen time with his fellow kindergarteners.
This was just the morning session of online classes. We still had to manage the afternoon session… yikes!
It took us a few days, but we were able to see the situation as an opportunity to become closer, support each other, and coordinate schedules. Ultimately, we found simple joys in taking walks and exploring areas of our neighborhood that we normally would have overlooked, which we can now remember fondly from 5,000 miles away.
Three lessons that resonate
Of the countless lessons I have learned while living abroad, three have resonated with me most strongly over the last three years.
First, be clear on what is important to you. It may sound overly simplistic, but knowing what is important to you gives you the superpower of saying “no” to anything that takes time, energy, or bandwidth from the things that make you smile.
Second, invest time and energy into your soul, body, and mind. You are the greatest asset you have in your relationships, health, career, and life. Neglecting one of those areas for too long is like sitting on a stool with missing legs.
Third, be more empathetic. Everyone is working through their inner challenges and battles. Take a moment and be patient with others. You never know the day someone is having, so pause and be kind daily.
A new (old) philosophy
There is an ancient Greek saying: τὰ ἐφʹ ἡμῖν, τὰ οὐκ ἐφʹ ἡμῖν. What is up to you, and what is not up to you.
Too often, we get caught up and invest too much time and energy into things that we have no say in. Throwing a pandemic on top of our already-uncertain lives, and you have a perfect equation for a lot of stress and anxiety.
Repeating this quote has helped me focus on the things that I can control; my perspective, attitude, thoughts, words that I speak, and actions.
So, if you are feeling stressed and anxious, ask yourself, “Ta eph imin.” Is this something I can control? If not, then just focus on the things that you can, including your own nutrition and fitness.
Above all: Enjoy life! This is not a dress rehearsal.
For 2022, I want to focus on making adventure a priority. This includes both traveling on airplanes to experience new places, but also exploring the local areas in Delhi and the surrounding area. This is my New Year’s resolution.
What about you?
