As trailing spouses, we often find ourselves in unfamiliar territory — literally and figuratively. Where are we? Who are we? What now?
When I emigrated from Germany to Chicago with my husband three years ago — a move that scored a 10/15 on the Gupte Scale — I decided to embrace this experience as an opportunity to pursue my new passion: career coaching. Through my consulting business and website, Share the Love, I now reach thousands of expat partners around the world seeking advice and direction on their professional and cultural transitions.
As part of our work together, I often find myself encouraging clients to step outside their comfort zones — even more so than they already have, as part of their partner-prompted relocations. I also have to remind myself to follow my own advice.
For me personally, stepping outside my comfort zone often involves communication: public speaking, sales pitches, social media, etc. While others love to present themselves, I prefer to let my work speak for itself. However, when you are seeking to grow personally and professionally — especially in a time of transition — bending and stretching is a must!
This past year, I decided to make a concerted effort to step outside my comfort zone. I wanted to share three lessons I learned, in hopes of inspiring and encouraging others to say yes to new opportunities in 2020.
Show Your Voice
Seven months ago, I got invited by one of the biggest expat-related podcasts to discuss a topic that is very important to me. The wonderful Amel Derragui, founder of the Tandem Nomads community, invited me to talk about “digital nomads” and what the expat partner can learn here to grow professionally. The invitation came at a time when I was struggling with pregnancy symptoms, and my “mum brain” seemed to be interfering with my language skills. I found myself constantly searching for even the easiest words in English; the instant translation in my brain had disappeared. Fortunately, I quickly realized that I was just coming up with excuses to avoid accepting this opportunity — almost fooling myself that it would do more harm than good — so I forced myself to accept the invitation right away. To hear how it went, and learn more about what expats can learn from digital nomads to grow professionally, listen to the episode here.
LESSON #1: Following through on a new career opportunity is much easier when you say yes right away. It’s trickier to back out after you’ve made a firm commitment!
Show Your Face
After the podcast aired, Expats Everywhere wanted to interview me, too. This time, I was asked to share my thoughts not only via my voice, but also on camera. This was entirely new for me; I had been considering the idea of producing my own video content, but I kept shying away from actually doing it. Saying yes to this one-time interview, in comparison, seemed much easier — even though it was still a big step out of my comfort zone. To see how it went, watch the episode on Expats Everywhere’s YouTube channel.
LESSON #2: If you’ve been holding back from trying something new, say yes to opportunities to test yourself on a smaller scale.
Show Your Heart
Share-the-Love is a very straightforward project where I never hesitate to name things as they are. Without holding back, I have written about the Expat Partner Identity Crisis on my blog and in my workbook. I knew that by sharing openly, it would only help others to feel understood! However, I did hesitate about sharing one of the most amazing developments in my life: my pregnancy. I took quite some time searching for the right words, worried about how my news may affect others who struggle with getting pregnant.
In the end, I had to make some kind of announcement because let’s face it; the clock was ticking. I didn’t want to hide my bump in photos and interviews, nor the fact that I planned to take a short break from blogging and coaching once this little miracle arrived. Once I finally shared the news on Instagram and in my newsletter, the feedback showed me that I had been right in carefully considering how to communicate about personal news. So many of you out there have struggled — and let me know that you appreciated my sensitivity in this matter.
LESSON #3: Reflect on what is holding you back. Think about how to address it before moving forward.
Show Your Resolve
How will you step outside your comfort zone in 2020? What’s on your bucket list? Where have you been holding back? Is there a real reason, or are you just dreading more change? For your New Year’s resolution, make a leap of faith and say “YES” to new personal or professional opportunities.
An earlier version of this blog post appeared on ShareTheLove.blog.
