Tag:

Seattle

Cross-Country Culture Shocks and Confidence Gains

by Erica Klinger April 26, 2023

Trailing spouses are forced to encounter change more than the average human, often without much support. In my 28 years as a Navy wife, my family has experienced close to a dozen house moves, including six different states and one overseas tour. Throughout this adventure, I’ve continued prioritizing my professional advancement as a creative marketing professional. In the past, pursuing your own career dreams hasn’t been expected of military wives — but times are changing and I hope sharing my story publicly inspires others to never give up on their dreams.

Continued from part 5 of Erica’s story.

My family has just packed up and moved more than a thousand miles away for the 11th time, prompted by my husband Jeff’s U.S. Navy career.

As we prepare to move from Hawaii to Maryland, it seems like a good time to reflect on our previous relocations, especially our last two cross-country shifts: from Washington state to Washington, D.C. in 2016, and from there to Hawaii six years later.

Erica and Capt. Jeff Klinger in Fairfax Station, Virginia, May 2020

Detour or Scenic Route… Why Not Both?

by Simone Holderbach June 13, 2021

written by Simone Holderbach

My journey as a trailing spouse began 18 years ago, when my husband accepted a postdoc position in Ontario, Canada after earning his Ph.D. in computer science from Germany’s Karlsruhe University.

I had been working as a process management and business development manager for Observer AB, an international media monitoring company, for almost a decade. I was on an amazing career trajectory with great colleagues, a good salary, and no shortage of exciting and challenging projects. As much as I loved my job, however, I had always hoped to live abroad again after getting a taste for it during two semesters spent exploring London and Paris.

Also, since our Canadian adventure was supposed to be limited to two years (the usual postdoctoral period), I viewed our relocation more like a sabbatical for myself and informed my parents that we would be back “before you know it.”

(Oops.)

Driving Distance Expat Experiences

Love and Loss, From a Distance

by Nicole Neroulias Gupte May 1, 2021

written by Nicole Neroulias Gupte

One of the best parts of being a trailing spouse is stitching together an amazing tapestry of friends and family across different corners of the world.

Perhaps the worst part is the cruel distance when you most want to be near them — including when it’s time to say goodbye.

Earlier this year, I lost my dear friend Anne Doll in Seattle to appendix cancer, at the age of 40. Earlier this week, I lost my grandmother in Nicosia, Cyprus, at the age of 104. In both cases, I was thousands of miles away in Delhi, trying to push through my grief and guilt to continue parenting through this pandemic. (Our inability to observe communal mourning rituals during COVID lockdowns, even when mere driving distance away, has surely been a core element of our collective trauma this past year.)

*Seattle transplants and new moms, Fall 2010*

Although I spent years writing for newspapers, including dozens of obituaries, and there’s so much to share about how two heavily-pregnant trailing spouses became fast friends during the hottest Seattle summer on record? I couldn’t bring myself to eulogize Anne. Fortunately, her husband has done that for us all. And, while I can’t be there for her memorial service this summer, at least my family’s absence will provide a few extra bedrooms for her college friends who fly in for the occasion.

For my grandmother, however, given that I missed her funeral by a matter of hours, I thought I could share my thoughts here. After all, she was a trailing spouse, too. (Whenever she had to list the different Cypriot city where each of her three children had been born, the reaction was usually something like, “Lady, did you have to have a kid each time you moved?” I think some of our readers can relate!)

Career Transitions Expat Experiences

Homes Are Where My Heart Is

by Kavya Sarat April 19, 2021

written by Kavya Sarat

“Where are you from?” “Where do you live?” “Where is your home?”

For a trailing spouse like me, common small-talk questions like that can feel pretty complicated!

I don’t feel that “home” can be confined to just one place or person. Home is Bellevue (where I live now), Bengaluru (where I spent my childhood), and Delhi (my husband’s hometown). Home is wherever I’m currently living with my wonderful partner — and home is where my roots are, too, where I spent a beautiful childhood filled with joy, laughter, adventure and play.

Career Transitions Driving Distance Expat Experiences Trailing Kids

Just Keep Walking

by Estelle Broyer March 20, 2021

written by Estelle Broyer

Throughout my life, I’ve often thought about my favorite childhood book, Mister Dog by Margaret Wise Brown. Mister Dog’s mantra was: “Just walk and sooner or later you’ll get somewhere.” (Or, as I learned it as a little girl growing up in Lyon, France, “Marche au hasard, tu arriveras bien quelque part.”)

It’s a silly phrase, but I’ve always loved Monsieur Chien’s way of thinking. There is so much to learn from a place — and from the journey that takes us there — when we are open to discovery. I’ve tried my best to embrace every opportunity for personal growth, in good times and in challenging ones, and go with the flow even when moving thousands of miles away with only short-term plans in place.

Driving Distance Military Moves Trailing Kids

From Red States to Blue States

by Erica Klinger January 16, 2021

written by Erica Klinger

Trailing spouses are forced to encounter change more than the average human, often without much support. In my 26 years as a Navy wife, my family has experienced 10 house moves, including five different states and one overseas tour. Throughout this adventure, I’ve continued prioritizing my professional advancement as a creative marketing professional. In the past, pursuing your own career dreams hasn’t been expected of military wives — but times are changing and I hope sharing my story publicly for the first time inspires others to never give up on their dreams.

Continued from part four of Erica’s story…

As a Navy spouse, my family’s frequent relocations have exposed me not only to interesting cultural differences, but to the sharp contrasts in political and moral viewpoints within the same country. In that sense, our biggest move was our 2013 transfer from the “red state” of Tennessee to the “blue state” of Washington. (A 10/15 on the Gupte Scale, for reasons shared in my previous blog post.)

I generally take a bipartisan attitude, marking my ballots based on current issues rather than party loyalties, and try to avoid discussing politics. But, as recent elections have reminded us all, every person’s vote really matters — not just in swing states every four years, but also for local offices and initiatives. During my time in the Pacific Northwest, where the default system of voting-by-mail seems to have led to stronger civic participation than in other places we had lived, I started to learn more about the key issues facing our country and really solidified my passion for working in health care and patient advocacy.

Cost of Living

In addition to switching from politically conservative to progressive circles, we knew that there would be many other cultural shifts to consider in our move from the Mid South to the Pacific Northwest. Instead of “y’all” and sunny bright colors, we’d have to fit into a more trendy world of wearing black and grey, tattoos and people who didn’t immediately invite me into their conversations.

Coaching Driving Distance Expat Experiences

Making Connections, Building Community

by Aditi Patil May 27, 2020

written by Aditi Patil

When I first heard the term “trailing spouse,” I had just moved to the United States. Being labeled took me by surprise, and I couldn’t help but cringe.

This wasn’t my family’s first move prompted by my husband’s marketing career — we had previously relocated from India to Malaysia and Singapore — or a new sense of struggle. With every move, I grappled with loneliness and a feeling of being uprooted, while managing my family’s transition, my career ambitions and my own emotional needs.

But going from Asia to North America was a more challenging culture shock.

Career Transitions Driving Distance Expat Experiences Trailing Kids

Comfort Food, Luxury Food, Phantom Food

by Nicole Neroulias Gupte February 4, 2020

written by Nicole Neroulias Gupte

It’s one thing to leave family, friends, and employment opportunities behind to accompany our spouses when their careers require a relocation. But when the move also means giving up our favorite foods? Yikes.

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”
Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own

As a tourist or business traveler, I’ve found myself saddened by two edible extremes: discovering amazing new foods that I won’t be able to find again back home vs. managing the absence of a dietary staple while on my journey.

Bucket Listing Career Transitions Driving Distance Expat Experiences

Reviewing the 2010s, Resolving for the 2020s

by Nicole Neroulias Gupte January 10, 2020

written by Nicole Neroulias Gupte

As we kick off the Roaring Twenties, 21st century-style, it’s only fitting that our conversations and screens have been jammed with people’s filtered reflections on how they spent the 2010s. What did we do? What did we learn? How should we use these experiences to shape our course for the next decade?

Or, if you’re like me, you spent winter break racing around back “home” (Seattle, WA) to see friends and family, stock up on local groceries, and fill up on as much holiday cheer as possible before racing back “home” (Delhi, India) for the kids to start school again.

Career Transitions Driving Distance Trailing Kids

Thankful to Be Their Special Someone

by Stephanie P. Cohn November 24, 2019

written by Stephanie P. Cohn

My unexpected journey as a trailing spouse began in 2004 when, after much soul-searching, I decided to leave my beloved job at Emory University’s Goizueta Business School in order to follow my other beloved to another university, in another state, for his graduate studies.

I agonized over this decision.